Divorcing Illinois parents have a lot on their minds. Many times, they may be worried about how life is going to be after divorce and the various issues that they will face, be they financial, custodial, or something else. However, many divorcing parents can be surprised by the backlash that they often get from their children over how much the divorce truly affects them.
Depending on a child's age during the divorce, experts say the reactions can vary widely. For example, very young children whose parents divorce often are more afraid of being abandoned. Those who are in elementary school may become resentful of their parents if there were any major changes that seemed to deprive them of an opportunity they would have if the parents stayed together. Preadolescents in divorcing families often became more susceptible to unsafe peer pressure than other groups. Finally, teenagers may often become overwhelmed by the feeling that they have to take over a caretaker role that both parents had previously held.
Just because these are the tendencies that have been found by child psychologists, of course, does not mean that your children will display these behaviors or that divorces are completely detrimental to a child. Indeed, it has been shown by other studies that children are more likely to succeed when they are with happy parents and parents who are considering divorce are often unhappy in their current situation.
What the studies all do seem to agree on is that parents should understand that their children need full support while the family is going through this transition involving the parents.
Parents in Illinois who divorce often do so for many different reasons and it is unrealistic to expect them to put off a divorce for the sake of the children. After all, children with happy parents are often able to adjust to most situations that they come across. With proper support, divorcing parents can help their children grow up to reach their full potential.
Source: Slate Magazine, "Divorce Has Consequences But most people didn't think about them before Judith Wallerstein," Sandra Blakeslee, July 13, 2012