For Illinois couples going through divorce, the following situation may sound all too painfully familiar. During the initial relationship, one person wants kids. The other person doesn't want kids. However, they decide to compromise and marry anyway, despite this disagreement. Later, as this issue becomes more and more important, and the division more clear, they divorce.
If this sounds familiar, then that's because it is. At the start of a relationship, the idea of children can seem distant. So, even though couples may realize that they have different ideas on whether they want children and the number of children they might want to have, they may dismiss this as too far in the future to worry about.
There are also those spouses who believe that they can change the other person's position over time. Only later in marriage may couples realize that these different opinions they each have may never actually be fully agreed upon. While at first, many couples may try to persuade their spouse to adopt their ideals, it's just as likely that they will find themselves at an impasse of incompatibility on this particular issue. Because of this, many spouses either have to give up the expectations that they carried into marriage or they may consider divorce.
Illinois couples who are divorcing because of this reason should not feel alone. It can be understandably difficult to face the fact that this incompatibility may exist. But by facing this issue, both parties may be able to free themselves and find someone truly compatible. Honest and considerate discussion of this issue and others may also promote an amicable and expeditious divorce settlement.
Source: The Washington Post, "Divorce attorneys, therapists: Closing the deal on kids before marriage not always realistic," Leanne Italie, AP, Aug. 20, 2012